blather
so_im_pretending
sab what do you want
she whispers in my head
what do you want.

ghost thin
white and dusty
what do you want she says

i dont want to Need, anymore.
i dont want this
anymore

this is all too hard
my fucking matra
for the day
for the week
for this year
for all
this

im not even sure
anymore
im not sure i was ever sure
im not even sure
what i mean

anymore



[you twist and turn like a twisty turny thing, he slurred]
words are slipery buggers
you'll never know how anyone else
truly thinks
truly sees the world

i see my world
and im not sure its the way it should be.
im not sure im the way i should be
im not sure what i should be

im

not

sure

and im drowning in it
[not waving, she whispered, and laughed at me]

fuck this.

its self indulgent wank.
and i have work to do


bah fucking humbug
and off she went to tea
040828
...
suicidalchinadoll that what you can't say yourself
has not been said
040828