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smoking_in_front_of_others
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stork daddy
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i really like to smoke in front of others, and for a while i couldn't figure it out. i certainly don't look heroic or non-chalant when doing it. but perhaps the allure is some sort of heroism, albeit a tragic one. i think it's because to me it is a way of admitting weakness and fallibility to another. a desperation. i smoke to say i'm tired. tired of myself and tired of this country. help me.
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050112
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crOwl
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this is perhaps the most amazing thing i have read in a long time. i just read it out loud to my wife and she agreed.
i think it should be on a billboard or on a full page ad in every major city newspaper.
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050112
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Utah
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i just feel guilty. but why? who do i feel guilty for? myself? for what crime?
... killing myself?
.... sometimes when i am walking down the street, smoking a cigarette, and a mother is walking by with her baby, i wonder if i shouldd toss it. i never do. i just take a big drag and hold it in when i walk by, and turn my cigarettte inside, risking burns on palms, and walk briskly.
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050112
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misstree
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because i don't care about myself. it's the ultimate dismissive gesture, exhaling that thick cloud, and finally pitching the butt as far as i can with a twitch of the fingers. there's an empty desperation in it, in this need to be able to discard, in pennies and nickles for the next box, in frozen fingers in winter exile. non smokers, the pure ones, draw bitterness but also apology. i remember the moment i left their ranks. i accepted an entire idea that day, shrugged and started down a path where i knew that at least *i* would be the person that did me in.
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050112
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Mister Brightside
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...with a coffee cup in hand, told that i look just like my father as a result.
hm.
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050112
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utard
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Utah, utah... you know why you feel guilty... ITS UTAH! its the culture.
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050118
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Utah
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utard - lived in Utah for summer before 3rd grade to summer after 6th - worst years of my life - jesus - i go back and it is so depressing - we used to go out to eat at the Sizzler. the fucking Sizzler. that was our dinner out. i went to wasatch elementary. do you know it?
funny thing is, we called them utards too. haha.
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050121
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Utah
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utard - lived in Utah for summer before 3rd grade to summer after 6th - worst years of my life - jesus - i go back and it is so depressing - we used to go out to eat at the Sizzler. the fucking Sizzler. that was our dinner out. i went to wasatch elementary. do you know it?
funny thing is, we called them utards too. haha.
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050121
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Utah
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utard - lived in Utah for summer before 3rd grade to summer after 6th - worst years of my life - jesus - i go back and it is so depressing - we used to go out to eat at the Sizzler. the fucking Sizzler. that was our dinner out. i went to wasatch elementary. do you know it?
funny thing is, we called them utards too. haha.
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050121
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lol
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stork
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080117
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