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semester_burnout
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unhinged
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when i am so tired when i sit down to do my work that i call it quits to go get some rest but when i lay in my bed i can't fall asleep
when my usual three meals a day dwindle down to one because i just don't get hungry anymore and half the time the only reason i eat at all is because i know that i should
when my usual one and a half packs of cigarettes a week sky rockets to three
when my diet is pretty much coffee, cigarettes, and the elderberry lozenges i use to boost my immune system....
yeah, that's semester burnout. and it's about the worst it's ever been this semester. damn school. bastards.
*grumble**grumble**grumble*
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031210
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x
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yes. yes yes and double yes to every bit of that.
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031210
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girl_jane
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I'm ready for winter break...
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031211
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a thimble in time
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one part of school I don't miss
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031211
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x
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done
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031212
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endless desire
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oh good lord.
this is all so ridiculous
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031212
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des
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(the work at school, that is)
(not any of the skites on the page)
(school shall be the death of me)
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031212
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girl_jane
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DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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031217
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endless desire
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my last test
i handed it to henderson
"merry fucking christmas
burn in hell."
he laughed.
"see you at church," i said
(we are funny christians)
i heard them whispering about me being a hippy as i walked away
"has she always been like this?"
just because im a democratic
doesn't make me a hippy.
i don't brush my hair in the morning
but i don't wear hippy clothes
and i bathe.
hurray. i am done.
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031219
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stork daddy
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i'm finished...finished! my undergraduate education is completed! finally, finally now i can walk down the highway naked like i've always wanted to!!!! except, i'm going to become a lawyer now. but after that, for sure after that, it's down the highway naked, waving at cars and carrying my nudity well,
like a proud king of a conquering army.
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031219
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ClairE
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Worst semester yet. And first semester my GPA was 1.67.
Academic_probation time, anyone?
Handed in every final late, two classes are missing half their papers. Clock is ticking down to six, and I can't be fucked anymore. I haven't even been able to pretend for the past three months.
My goal is an incomplete. I keep thinking this semester will end, but it hasn't happened yet.
Not to mention three break_ups, false_accusations, loneliness, attacks of depression, and meeting someone_new. Oh, and my first counseling session.
Somehow none of that counts for anything in the university system. It's not like I got raped, or someone I knew died, or I had an abortion.
I had a conversation with an old friend the other day about this cult of feelings our society has. We concluded that there's a dual method of dealing with the power they hold, and that each method only serves to lend feelings power. One is to prostrate ourselves before them, treat them as taboo. The other is to flatten them with assurance, tell our children that emotion is just an "experience", in the sense of something to let wash through the body. But experience is really to live it, and I'm getting fed up at what others deem to be my lack of control. How can I be so interested in all the rest of life and not be able to handle this?
Since last semester I have not even wanted to be in school and it dwindles each month. Three more semesters.
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031219
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Ouroboros
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happening
except that it's more like school burnout, life burnout, me burnout, living burnout
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060604
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Ouroboros
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paying goobs of money to revel in this horrid state of stress and over-it-ness. grad school, great idea!
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100426
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