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jane
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so today my life.... has become more confusing than it has ever been - although it didn't happen spontaneously, it was one of those things that sort of creeps up on you subconsciously - you can feel a change coming - there is a different air about the world - i wish i could figure things out...i feel like i'm always confused though, that it's normal, that things will eventually work out even though it all seems hopeless now - i'm losing grip on the things i care about the most & it scares me, the idea that all my dreams will be washed away because of one stupid decision...you know, i thought when i grew up i would get a book - this is how the world works - & problems were all in the index, you could just flip to the back & then your problem would be adhered to - but there is no book. there is no instruction manual. there is just me, and my words, and my thoughts, and my feelings. i am the changing air. it will work out, but there will be more to solve soon enough. this is what life is about - learning & growing. & there's no reason i should be disappointed in myself for wanting to learn the hard way
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040717
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