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icy
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but it will never surface - i am too much a coward. and i don't know how to bring it back, breathe life into it again. i've lost the directions, misplaced the touch and feel for something like that.
i told you i was broken, but you didn't believe me. it was the best way to explain, because i don't understand it. perhaps that was what drove you away. you could tell something was missing, something vital and necessary.
if i'm nice, you assume too much, and i end up hurting you. but if i try to be somewhat distant and reserved, you tell me i'm cold and frigid - and inhuman.
tell me, did you mean cruel or monstrous?
secretly_deep_down, i want that companionship, the sharing, the trusting. but it's not worth it anymore.
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050822
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