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saying_nothing_in_so_many_words
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help desk birdmad does not feel terribly helpful t
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in my working life i deal with twits who cannot speak, leave a voice-mail or compose an e-mail without finding ten different ways to beat around the bush and give me fifty different re-hashings of same irrelevant expository crap before ever getting anywhere near the actual point of what their problem is or why they need my assistance.
Of course i can't tell any of them that i don't need your curriculum vitae nor do i need to know that your company has been manufacturing Widget X since before Jesus took the training wheels off of his dinosaur.
i only need to know what sort of problem they are having using the system and web applications i support
but nooooooo...
i also don't need them reciting the name of the system back to me, i know what it is called, i've been manning the help desk for the last five and a half goddamned years, i think i, better than just about anyone except the software developers should know what the fuck it is called
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090305
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customer_service_stinkflower
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Look! I found a coupon to give you $30.00 off, how's that sound?
All right then, we'll see you next time.
Next...
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090305
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birdmad
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my other favorite situation...i get done walking somebody through the solution to a particular issue or obstacle they encounter in the system and their immediate response to my solution is "are you sure that's gonna work?/are you sure that's how it works?"
No, you butt-monkey, I just fell off the fucking turnip truck with the other 150 mojados that came up from the other side of la frontera this morning and totally pulled this walk-through outta my ass. I'm not actually the Help Desk, per se, i'm just making this shit up because i like being second-guessed by technologically challenged primates
duuuh.
too many of my customers are so dense they could make Jesus go postal.
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090305
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In_Bloom
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Fuck yeah birdmad! I'm going to use your last sentence :D
And for the record, I am always as concise as possible when presenting my own dumb primate conundrums to the help desk. I want them to keep my internet flowing. Just as I don't annoy the service drive window person who's going to order up my cheeseburger requested with no sauces, no onions and extra cheese.
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090305
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unhinged
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when i really need them, my mouth, lips, tongue, voice fail me
(it has always been so much easier to write because i didn't have to watch the reaction my words had, have)
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180705
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