blather
rough_night
misstree i'll never tell you how you hurt me.

i'm a poet, a fucking poet,
do you understand? i
feel against my will and i
fall against my will and i'll
never put the word "in"
before what i mean so fiercely,
but you have me by every bit,
i am utterly open to you and
i will drink whatever poisons
i can suck out of your wounds.

i wish i could tell you
how it hurts to draw that pain,
how being part of "everybody"
nearly turned me grey and shattered,
or the too-familiar heaviness of knowing
i will never be the_one, that i am just
an intense little stepping stone
between there and there,
and knowing that it is my nature
to Accept these and swallow them.

the most i'll show you
is how it lashes to know
that there was nothing more i could do
to soothe you. i hurt extra
for the ways i can't heal you.
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