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pushpins_is_schitzo
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pushpins
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i think blatherers favor pushpins and think of yummychuckle as this immature brat that shouldnt waste space on this site. spineless moron. I hate yummychuckle.
I don't want to be disliked in the least. I hate it when somebody gets pissed at me on blather because its kind of my only refuge from all the shit in my life (or the shit i pretend to have: we must remember starving kids in ethiopia, right?)...
anyway pushpins was created to avoid negative words being whipped at me because I was planning on not "talking" and just writing poems.
but i fucked that up...
so now its just me scattered into different labels.
but I still feel this bad thing on yummychuckle, like she has a tumor. I eman its not exactly her fault, but its still there and its not pretty.
its all confused. I eman pushpins seems depressed enough but I'm not as...meek. I feel like I have a right to stand up for myself or something when i am pushpins.
well i just favor this personality.
the whole reason i was posting this blathe was actually to wonder how the hell suddenly there are people that like...like me. My posts and stuff. I've never found such positive stuff coming back to me. I do feel like I've changed. I mean last summer i was extremely...naive. I still am...its just that i've grown since. I still feel so much that I used to feel, but now I bottle it up because I know its not a good thing to put rigth out there for people to see. Like boybashing bullshit where I'll be all "oh my god hes such an idiot and im such a bitch! tehe!" sometimes i think those evil stupid things, but i just put makeup on them and put it into something like "Sometimes its too easy
when my words purr away his worries
and he succumbs to my wishes.
I feel like I am disease
hallucinations and shady leadership
overtake him
and I'm not ready for so much power...
I am too cruel for my own good."
and thats just fof the top of my head. its all how you phrase things. People think I'm NOT bowing down to what other people think by writing poems like that, when really i could just phrase it in a short sweet sentence which doesn't siphoon sympathy out of the reader. I am really a hateable person if you get to know me better. Its all a mask, i know it. I try to sound good so you will like me. I play the game.
more conformity in me than I thought.
well anyway. I'm schitzo. maybe tomorrow I'll favor yummychuckle BECAUSE of her immature ways and awkward words. who knows.
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020310
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misstree
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sometimes you just gotta let it all go, and forget we're out here. what do we matter, really? we're just a bunch of people who occasionally babble out our insanities, just like you.
i used to write under the pseudonyms crazy jane and butterfly. crazy jane was the psycho bitch, butterfly was the one who cared and could consequently get hurt.
every person is a million people inside, all fighting for the controls.
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020310
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reitoei
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just be technical and picky about it, schizophrenia has nothing to do with multiple personality disorder.
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020310
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pushpins
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voices scattered artistry nicks brother has it.
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020310
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no raisins formerly fairydust
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oh pushpins, don't worry about it, it's only one person with no place to talk, because anyone who would say something that rude is never listened to by blatherites anyway
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020311
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yummychuckle because she thinks this post is dumb.
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Schizophrenia: A disorder in which there is a split or breakdown in logical thought processes. the split results in unusual behaviors. Actions, words and emotions are confused and usually innapropriate. A person with this disorder may appear desparate and withdraw into an innner world of fantasy.
That happened to be written on the board when i walked into psychology class today. i had to write it in my notes.
thought this would be an appropriate place to post it.
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020311
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yummychuckle
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it doesnt satisfy me as a definition though.
just sounds awkwardly phrased.
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020311
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