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popular_kid
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no reason
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never was one, but never exactly wasn't one, either. it's the same now. most people don't know me well enough. i guess i'm more comfortable with it that way, but it gets lonely.
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140107
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unhinged
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scenester_bitches
sensitive people dont do well in the face of popularity
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140107
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dexal
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Growing up, I never felt especially popular or unpopular, but I always struggled with shyness. Once I was out on my own, my crippling social anxiety, depression, and insecurity made it impossible to make new friends. I was miserable, lonely, and clinging to a string of romantic partners.
I will skip the decade long saga, and just say, that I finally realized that it was up to me to cultivate friendships. There was nothing inherently wrong or unlikeable about me, and focusing on how much people didn't like me made them not like me. People thought I hated them because I was too insecure to talk to them.
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140107
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epitome of incomprehensibility
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Fiction fixates on the evil ones, but I've seen many good ones who were popular for reasonable reasons. Of course, life isn't a fictional high school. Even my high school wasn't a fictional high school. There isn't just one "popular" crowd. I was looking for it once, but I'm glad I wasn't chasing after it, because I'd have been chasing after a mirage.
See The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton. Fiction, yes, but faceted.
It's a bit like intelligence in the sense that it isn't just one thing. I can't stand on a mountain and say, "I'm smart and you're not." The opposite wouldn't be true either.
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140107
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h
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why do some need it?
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140108
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e_o_i
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Social status, sometimes. Or (actual) words_with_friends. A feeling of belonging. But I think popularity takes different forms and it's not always the most obvious ones, e.g. who's invited to what parties, that determine how many people trust you and care about you and want to have you around. I think I realized this when I was a kid, but couldn't really articulate it until now (and e_o_i is 25 now) - not yesterday, evidently, when I was spouting silly phrases like "chasing after a mirage" as if it were original to me!
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140108
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flowerock
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but why are they popular? some of the popular kids are quite nice and that's why they are popular, well liked, enjoyed.
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140109
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no reason
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there's this guy in my industry who has parties about twice a year, and lots of people i know and like in the industry are invited. but i'm not. he invited me to one of them once, and i was planning on going, but then i ended up not being able to go. my colleague let him know that, and he said he was kind of relieved to be able to keep the numbers down in his apartment.
we talk when we see each other, and he does invite me to industry events in public spaces, but i'm never good enough to make the list of 50+ invitees.
people always seem to want to talk about what parties they went to on social media too. maybe it's a sign of insecurity, i don't know. but congratulations, you went to a party. good for you.
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140111
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nr
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*to make the list of 50+ invitees to his personal parties.
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140111
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unhinged
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(thats why i dont really participate in social media. who cares who went to what party? and if you care what parties i went to, im not really interested in talking to you anyways. i dont really buy the whole 'i need to be involved in social media to keep up in my industry' either unless your industry is social media. the arguement is slightly strongerfor artists to use it but i dont know anyone thats gotten a job or gotten rich from posting what they did last night on facebook)
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140111
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