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kookaburra
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There i go again
Pick pick pick pick pick
All those memories just starting to heal
i can't seem to stop ripping off protective attempts to supress the pain
No, i just have to keep the cut fresh, let it sting just as hard as it did when i first hurt it
and i cant even let it go once ive picked off the scab again.
no sir!
You know that'd be too damn easy-You know i'd go for some rubbing alcohol.
Just pour it in there, make it hurt worse than it did originally.
Because now i know exactly what happened because i fucked up.
I know that if i hadn't said that phrase:
1.) this wouldn't have happened.
and if 1.) hadn't happened these other three things wouldn't have happened.
And so it goes until i've convinced myself that every single bad thing that has ever happened to me since could have been prevented by me not being so stupid.
so...
basically...
it's always all my fault
every ill-worded remark, every misguided action, everytime i was in the wrong place at the wrong time, everything i should have said, every jump to conclusions, every move i didn't anticipate, everytime i was hypocritical, every single time i could have done something better but
I FUCKED UP!
and i shoulda done, and i shoulda done, and i shoulda done
"All the Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas"
"Layin’ in the sun,"
"Talkin’ ‘bout the things"
"They woulda-coulda-shoulda done…"
"But those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas"
"All ran away and hid"
"From one little did."
im sorry mr. silverstein, but you are quite mistaken
each 'did' creates at least seventeen woulda-coulda-shouldas
(if it isnt a hundred two)
and no woulda-coulda-shouldas ever hide
no no, it just isnt in their nature
they will however bide their time, waiting for the perfect moment
to spring upon me everything
i've been trying to hide
in the_shadows_of_my_mind
And you wonder why I'm so self-conscious
Checking every movement for adverse outcomes
using_other_people_as_my_mirror
I just can't bear another tear in my soul
Another open wound to pick pick pick at
...
i need a bandaid for my soul
...
no
...
i just need a way to cut my over-sharp nails
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040805
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