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endless desire
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+the things she doesn't expect.
[blindside, swerve, slick&sweet, you always meant something to me, you dirty boy you\]
-past loves are the past, present loves are nonexistant--{{{EXISTANCE? what a question. of such force and such pain, longing again and again. you ask these questions that sting with the bitter cold of winter and the blazing hot metal of your tongue.}}}
i hate you. &such strong parting words we speak with watered tones and wild glances. you are a foolish boy, a damned and foolish boy: you'll live a life in yellow chairs but you'll always be a foolish boy on a dirty path with far too much light to guide you.
NO, he says, NO NO. oh but i know. i do know you and you know nothing, so don't tell me 'no' because no one knows more than i know. no one. no one. juice, crackers, simple things///your dirt, your castles, your painted wings. but if you die and we don't say goodbye then i'll leave you where existance lies
and
we
shall
stay
a while.
stop.
pause.
akward
silence.
you are the soar on my tongue, the buzzing 'round my ear, the problem with irrational solutions. you are to me what algebra class is to a 12 year old, what rainy days are to little boys who wish to play, what dresses are to tom girls, what wrinkles are to a desperate mother. scum. filth. disappointment. i only wish to rest with a piece of mind and peace of mind. i only wish to rest with wind on my back & possibly light shoulders, yet you hold forever as my burden. forever as the dirt between my nails.
i hate you. ///what parting words the parting child speaks at the party that lasted until lovers part.
believe
you
me
those words never rang true. no sense or structure and frame but only a mass of muscles and tendons, organs and fat without the skin to hold ones pieces in. you are just soup on the floor with no sense or structure and frame.
i hate you ((what words to speak))
+they sting softly, gently
--as fire
--as hail
--as wind
--as rain
"she prepares her green traffic light," he told me one day, "and strangely enough, the world thinks go."
and i replied, "oh but why do they listen?"
he shrugged his heavy shoulders and fell away.
whisper:
\you are the sand beneath my toes
\you are the thread within my dress
\you are the colours in my eye
[you are nothing and i like it that way]
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