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panic_disorder
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jane
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in new york, i would get these attacks. it would happen when i went to bed, preventing any sleep that i wanted and/or needed. i would spontaneously flip out about the things that i should do the next day. i would get through it by telling myself "there's nothing you can do right now - just get some rest & tomorrow you'll be able to face it.." those were anxiety attacks. they were based on actual issues and were more annoying than anything.
since my arrival in california, i have had three panic attacks. these, unlike the anxiety attacks, are based on nothing, and come spontaneously at three thirty in the morning for example, and were more frightening than annoying. my chest freezes up i cant breathe i'm hyperventilating i'm scared i cant move is the door locked what is this about.... & of course the fact that it was based on nothing perpetuated my fright - why is this happening is something wrong - & consequently it builds up until i'm about to off myself.
i haven't had a panic attack in about two weeks but tonight the anxiety came back. i don't know why but i'm anxious about returning to new york where there is no family support, no free food, & no place to live. the city is a jungle - i feel lost again
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040614
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don't go back
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040614
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dosquatch
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I feel for you, Jane. My sister has these. I can relate, in an outside looking in sort of way.
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040614
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minnesota_chris
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I developed a theory, once I started getting them in my twenties.
I think that, if you look at the human race when we were savages (and thus, the end of natural selection and evolution for us) we were living in tribes and fighting off wild animals who wanted to eat our stuff and our kids.
Ok, well, who's going to fight these nocturnal predators? Old people, people who have had their chance to reproduce. So once folks get into their twenties, and even more so in their thirties and forties, they start waking up in the middle of the night out of fear. All because somebody has to watch out for the marauders.
You and I, we're just tiger bait.
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040614
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pete
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Spending more than 20 minutes in the Rideau Centre sends me straight to paranoia and uncontrollable panic. Damn three story malls, they are pure evil.
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unhinged
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just the other day my heart thumped in my chest like it wanted to beat right through my chest wall. it didn't last long; i took a few deep breaths just to make sure the palpitation was an isolated incident. all those panic attacks of my childhood before i realized what they really were were skittering around in dark parts of my mind threatening to snowball into the present moment. in. out. thump. calm. i guess it's just the way i'm wired.
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