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a chaotic gift to idealism
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some passifist you have become
rise to the dark of my room
midday runs in, informing me i must wake
i could not be so lucky
what gift your love is
you will only hate me
you love me, you may come back
i will botch this again
you should not have left again
i should not have let you leave
i will do well, you will be my hand
i will speak what should not be voiced
you will hate me to ease the way
you will love me for reason to stay
so tired of good and bad
so tired of not being me
time has stained me
pattern has grown over me
it is time to live in the moment
the moment will be so hard
i am not entirely weak
it will be a new hell
life is hell
isn't hell grand...
so many days now of only the worst
presence is now
presence is my desire
presence gives no way to tomorrow
i will never know tomorrow
until it reaches today
regret not those pains of uncertainty
everyone fears, everyone is weak
finding my strength in your presence
finding my strength in the moment
i will go on and today will be good
say goodbye to tomorrow
today is now
today is here
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050621
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