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on_being_a_dick
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dafremen
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This one was fun:
"Daf, you're a dick."
"Oh I know. It's my penance."
"What?!"
"Yea, I'm crucifying my mean, petty ass on the cross of public humiliation, as a form of karma."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm telling you how I'm punishing myself for being a dick, by being a dick so that people will think I'm a dick. Makes sense?"
"No, but that's ok. You do you...asshole."
"Hey! No fair changing up anatomical descriptions! I was just getting into this 'being a dick' thing again."
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210111
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dafremen
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Dear Retailer,
No, I don't have exact change.
No, I don't wish to donate it to a charity of your choosing so that you can get the tax write off on my dime.
No, I don't wish to be scolded by your employee because YOU didn't open your store PREPARED to do business with a cash carrying public and you'd like to steal their change instead.
No, I don't believe for a second that you can't find my change somewhere in this giant store that does LOADS of business.
Yes, you're able to load the self checkout machine with coins. Why not provide exact change to the people who AREN'T putting cashiers out of work?
Yes, I'd like my .73 cents without the weird hassle next time.
Get your shit together, you shady motherfuckers. Thank you. *smh*
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210904
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