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Farool
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You aren't Ghandi. You aren't Bhudda. You are not a saint. You are not a martyr. You're a self righteous idealist who loves the sound of his own voice. You are hopeless. You are not who you want to be. You are not who you think you are. Just breathe, quote the Tao. Meditate. You'll see her in a couple of hours. Three and a halfish. Three and a halfish. Two hundred and ten minutes-ish. 126000-ish more seconds. Count. Think. Breathe. You'll see her. You'll give her tea. Your day will be filled with joy knowing that you're loved. Just hold out, okay man? It's not that much longer. Wear the hat until then. Her laugh makes your day. Seeing you in this ridiculous state will make her laugh, aand it's a really really fucking pretty sound. You're not in this for lust or for selfish reasons. Your intent is to love her as much as you can. She wants me here, I'll stay here. End. Of. Story. She's amazing. She's fucking amazing. Her being within five fucking feet of me is a gift. I wish I was as good as you want, because you're a fucking angel. I'm here. I shouldn't get closer if she wants, and if she makes the slightest indication for me to leave I'll leave. She knows what's best. So if she hhurts herself . . . then you're just fucked. But you can't hurt her. Don't, she rocks. When's the last time someone's loved you? There. That answers the question of what you owe her. And it's not even a matter of debt. She's so beautiful and perfect and . . . fuckit. Fuckitfuckitfuckit. You're her friend. Don't. Push. It. You already tried that, so back the fuck off. It won't work. She needs a friend right now. You can wait. You will, for her. She doesn't like 'don't speak unless spoken to' so I won't. I won't show affection until she does. If she sets her limits then you'll be fine. She's amazing and beautiful and awesome and a fucking angel. Being her friend is more than you could ever ask for. Appreciate it. If she wants anything she'll ask. Watch out though, it'll be painful when she hurts herself, because that's the worst way you could ever possibly hurt me.
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060216
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