blather
northern_inhabitants
unhinged this winter colder than the last
less snow though
december set records
thundersnow
flights cancelled
minutes outside feel like hours
the cold stealing the life from you
like leeches
unseen but sucking

learned how to use a bus schedule this winter
to quell the anxious voice
that made me stand outside for ten minutes
the weatherperson says
'cover all skin. being outside for more than five minutes is dangerous.'
frostbite could set in

layers upon layers
special insulated winter hiking boots
rubber on the toes and heels
thick spiked soles
cut through the snow and ice
not once did my feet slip out
from underneath me
pairs upon pairs
of knee socks
wool
thermal
down

his mother sent me a beautiful
ankle length down coat
i never thanked her for it
but sent the thought of thanks in her direction
everytime it kept me warm
he didn't want me to contact her
and i didn't have the time or fortitude
to dog him about it
i hope she doesn't think less of me
but then again
she knows her son better than i


long cold nights
alone
too warm to fall asleep
took off my shirt
twisted and turned
too much skin peeking out from blankets
i woke up
to gather the covers back around me
to wake up
to gather the covers back around me
i sleep still with someone next to me
afraid my twisting and turning will wake them up
covers stay in place
just from the presence
but alone
i wake up often
because i am tired of being
constrained
by clothes and blankets
coats
wool
thermal
down
layers upon layers
skin itching for wind
because it is my only intimacy
the sun and wind
touching me the way i wish him to be
i toss and turn
without someone next to me



i want to put away the coats
and let my toes feel the breeze
the sunshine is not yet warm enough
although i am thankful for
the natural vitamin d
but i have another month
or two
to wait before the season is assured
before the threat of cold
is finally chased away
by the rotation of the planet
the spring equinox
not what i remember
cold and damp and muddy and grey

waiting for the day
i can put the coats
the boots
away
090330
...
unhinged (maybe i throw the covers off in my sleep
looking for something
someone)
090331
...
unhinged what i write about now:

not love
but nature
living_alone
090506
...
minnesota_chris getting_fat 090506
...
unhinged the blankets are only enough now
if there is a human_heater
underneath them
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