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no_sympathy_for_the_devil
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thy
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keep_that_in_mind
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110924
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unhinged
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cause all that ever got me was abuse
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110925
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Phoenix
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unhinged
I came looking for you and I want you to know I am sorry. That I was just as confused and tormented as you and that I was too wrapped up in avoiding that truth to be a good friend to you.
Don't forgive me. Just know.
bobbi
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111012
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unhinged
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harrisburg
the_four_noble_truths
shambhala
you wouldn't recognize who i am now dear
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111012
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unhinged
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in ten years a lot of things change
photographic_memory
so much has come up since i first read your post here, but you should know i smile more now. time wears all mountains to molehills. i hope you are well.
and maybe this is more directed at my recent past and not meant as nasty as it could be read, but i hope the next time instead of being sorry, you find yourself being a good friend.
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111012
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Phoenix
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I am a mother. I am an accountant. I own a house in the suburbs. Life is very different. I am very much still me, flaws and all, but I am much more aware of those flaws and how they affect others.
I never knew the way you felt, and if my memory is making me think I never knew but at the time I knew, I never believed it. But it wouldn't have mattered.
I could go on and on for hours about all the things I now know about myself and things you didn't know that made these situations so outlandishly hurtful. Especially Harrisburg.
I am at times haunted by the ghost of that person and her actions. I still reach out to less people in fear of doing what I did to you and others. I hope I can be a better friend, too, but for now I am growing and learning and apologizing.
I am glad you are doing better and smiling more and that my mountain is now a molehill. I hope that you are able to continue to make molehills out of everything but yourself.
bobbi
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111013
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Phoenix
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One thing.
The intent was never to hurt you or rub things in your face or to play a part. I was oblivious. Not that that isn't a crime in and of itself. I had no idea I had the ability to hurt anyone.
I am and was a lot of things, but my intentions have never been that dark.
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111013
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unhinged
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just because the bull didn't realize he walked into a china shop didn't make the dishes any less broken
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111013
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unhinged
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but no worries girl. really. that epoch in my life has been pretty far behind me for awhile.
in this human life we all suffer and in our suffering we make others suffer. even actions done in ignorance reap results. all that is the cold buddhist comfort of the universe.
i guess i find it hard to believe you were completely oblivious, but then again i didn't believe you were evil either. i was too frail and naieve for that place and most of the people i knew there. that is in no way your fault.
it was complicated. we were complicated. looks like we both grew up from it, inspite of it. that's life when you keep on living.
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111013
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unhinged
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fuck_you_lucy
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140609
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epitome of incomprehensibility
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No symphony for the devil, who's like Marilyn Manson, just less cheesy.
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140610
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