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falling_alone
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my sister slept in my bed with me
the night before i left for college
my mother was sick and said you can't sleep with me tonight, i don't want you to catch it.
my mother is afraid that my sister could fall seriously ill again from any little cold.
and my sister is afraid to sleep alone.
i had said no, fall asleep by yourself, on your own bed for once, clean up the mess thats on it, and leave me alone.
she came back later, and told me to follow
her room was bathed in a soft blue glow.
i noticed her bed was cleaned off,
suddenly i didn't want her to sleep there.
come on, you can sleep with me
she never mentioned that she had already cleaned her bed, never complained.
but you have to sleep against the wall.
i don't mind, i don't like to sleep on the edge, i'm afraid.
i used to be afraid too, of the dark, of scary movies.
i used to sleep by my mothers side always when i was smaller. my father hadn't slept there since he lost that one job such a long time ago, it seemed like a fairy tale. I used to be afraid, and then i grew older around my sister's age now i like adam and eve i realized something wasn't supposed to be
i should sleep by myself learn to live with the dark.
eventually i did. now i don't care, i need it pitch black to sleep, but i still need something to hug.
everynow and then when my sister's away at a sleepover, i curl up next to my mother and hug her. i think she needs it as much as we do.
my eyes are starting to drift, i'm can feel sleep coming when something pokes my arm
look, i turn and she's waving her arm infront of the air conditioner casting a shadow from a far away lamp post.
just go to sleep, candace.
later i feel her leg wrapping around mine, making sure i'm still there.
despite the heat, i don't push her away.
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050829
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