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mystic_dreams_of_a_lost_miniaturist
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illusionary_reality
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It happened then. They went, and never came back, leaving me with this emptiness. And out of this emptiness came art, clawing in desperation at the invisible wall around me.
It triumphed. Here I am now, opening myself up.
Someday I will remove that wall, brick by brick. Then you'll see more, I promise.
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040724
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illusionary_reality
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Shakespeare fills the void when no one else can.
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040725
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illusionary_reality
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why is it, that when i want to cry the tears don't come? that when i make a decision, i can't justify it, it's the wrong one?
that nothing is ever as it seems, and above all, never RIGHT, forget about perfect.
is it worth it then?
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050203
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illusionary_reality
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maybe it is, yes. on the good days at least.
but something has to go wrong somewhere. one moment i look at myself, and love who i am. the next, i hate myself.
even so, it's worth it. and realisation strikes when you are sitting on a rock by a stream with trees around you, the sky above you, and the promise of tamarind, juicy and brown, later.
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050204
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illusionary_reality
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happy birthday.
15.
now, and forever.
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050215
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illusionary_reality
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i very much fear, my secret has been discovered.
right now, as milk was being handed over.
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050223
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illusionary_reality
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just to clarify...
this is about me.
that is about them, or them's, or you's. Two you's.
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050223
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illusionary_reality
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predictably, it is a nice day.
and i am bored.
no mystic dreams today, just empty nothings and fireworks in my head.
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050419
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illusionary_reality
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we have come a long way from where we were.
and everything has changed. not for the better, not for the worse. essentially there is always a hidden pattern in the mediocrity, now it has become more elaborate. do i need people? do people need me? is anyone worth anything?
i live in the hope that someday, together we will live to tell our tale.
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050902
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illusionary_reality
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i believe the world is going to end.
.
goodbye.
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051027
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illusionary_reality
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even though i have a new identity now, i choose for one last time to revisit this one.
my old world does not exist anymore. and i miss it. i miss GK and VK and all the moments we've shared. i see them sometimes, here and there, but the old feeling is lost. if nothing else, i want just that back - the feeling.
shine on.
love always and always.
~maia
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060725
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