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my_roommates_are_bastards
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shiva
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they hid all my food. i don't know where. and i am hungry. (it is night.)
so i hid all their food, mostly in the shower, hid their shoes, hid their towels, put plastic plates of water and nasty stuff outside their doors, hand soap on the doorknobs, and rigged the dish washer thing to spray anyone who tries to wash their hands. (they will have class in the morning, and, unless they have reserves in their room, be shoeless and showerless and breakfastless.)
i think that is good for now. they will probably try to outdo me, at which point i break out the raccoon urine...
anyone have more ideas? i want to lock them in their rooms, but have no way of fastening.
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010920
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silentbob
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mine are too
they were up at 1 being really noisey and talking about "some fag they beat up"
"I love alcohol! from my head down to my toes!"
my roommate andrew calls it alcohol and getting intoxicated.
"I was so fucking intoxicated last night! i love alcohol"
now imagine a bullshit hick accent saying it. "SO" becomes "sew" "intox" becomes "intahks"
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010920
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Aimee
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My roommate scares me.. That's why I rarely am here. She's a cutter and well she just gives off this aire of "holier than thou". I just don't like her. She creeps me out and she never talks to me. I pride myself on my friendliness, but dude, that is one person I just want to avoid.
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010920
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chanaka
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my roommate listens to cher and the temptations. that's all she listens to.
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010920
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unhinged
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my roommate lives a few streets over with her boyfriend.
it's probably better that way because i tend to piss people off when i live with them.
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010920
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ClairE
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Mine has two boys in love with her, and talks to everyone but me.
That's more of a bitch than a bastard, though. Bastards will fuck you over for themselves, bitches actually enjoying playing with your heart.
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011202
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jestification
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ugggghhh!
they got married and quit smoking weed and i couldn't stand to look at them.
started taking up crashing on random friend's couches to avoid the icky vibes.
now we're getting high and i remember why i love them.
she is such a trendy fuck.
he is such a lazy fuck.
but that's not why i love them...
i just do.
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011205
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SuicidalAngel
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No one gave you ideas!.. okay itching powder is always a plus!.. just sprinkle some on their clothes and they'll have to wash them.. plus take a shower.. (yet they can't!).. Vasaline on anything is pretty efective. Mix up their underwear in their drawers. Set thier alarm for 2:00am.. and then the other alarm for 2:30am! make sure the volume on thier tv is *always at full blast and wait for them to turn it on. Put M&Ms or something underneither thier fitted shit on their bed, so when they go to bed it's all annoying, or just sprinkle cracker crumbs on it or spray some water on it. Hairspray the mirrors. Put some nasty smelling shit on their pillows. I dunno my ideas kind of suck, but they're at the top of my head and at least I gave you some right?
Also, my friend Melly had a scary roomate this semester. Melly walked into the room and saw this girl's underwear on the floor, and there was poop on it. Not like skid-mark or whatever, but like "hey I shit my pants".. so they wrote "poop" on this girls dry erase board. When this girl came in the room, she threw her underwear in the closit and was like "I dont want people to write on my board" LoL What a freak!! But the girl never went to class and got kicked out, so now Melly has the dorm to herself.. must be nice!
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011205
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ClairE
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when i ask celine something her whole tone changes and she doesn't look at me, but her hands stop
i don't like her anymore. i wish she were gone now.
God, I don't know when this happened. Everyone else used to like her and even when she was weird to me I still liked her.
she makes me feel uncaptitalized.
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011218
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Annie111
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HAHHA, suicidalangel, that post made me laugh so much.
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011218
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ClairE
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That is, everyone DOES like her. And she is friendly to everyone except me.
People who have never met her before notice the drop in temperature when we are both in the room together.
What did I do wrong?
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011218
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SuicidalAngel
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Thanks Annie111 :) and ClairE why dont you talk to her or have you? Try again.
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011218
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ClairE
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Every time I try to talk to you you make me feel like broken glass
not jagged
but solid and unimportant and unable to be of use or to fit myself back together.
Everyone knows there's something wrong. It'll come to a head soon.
I don't want to scare you. So we'll talk soon.
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011218
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