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my_crush___stupid
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blah-ze
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it pains me. it seems so juvenile. she is 25. i am seventeen. i cannot get her out of my head. if i tell anyone they ask 'why her? why not (insert name here)?'. they don't understand. i don't understand.
subconciously trying to be near her and to avoid her so i can forget.
it's not that i can't get her out of my head, i just keep going back to thinking of what she would think of something, or wondering what she would say if i said that to her.
why does it have to be the ones so far out of reach, but close enough to brush with fingertips.
if i ignore it, it has to eventually go away. right?
i want to ask, to talk to her, but i just feel stupid. i know if i ever tell her it will ruin what i feel, such a release i know i will regret. so i shall watch, and wait. and silently hurt, but keep my dream intact even as it dwindles.
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040207
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Death of a Rose
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why not try the ole anonymous note thing?
and I apologize if your blathe is just internalizing.
.
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040207
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notme
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he was eighteen
she was twenty-six
or so the records say...
(william shakespeare
and anne hathaway)
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040207
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:_)
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she was 34, he was 23. that seems a bit out of the ordinary. unless you are Demi_Moore.
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040208
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Death of a Rose
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oops, it was your crush....my stupid
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040208
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:_)
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she is 34, but looks and feels 24
but it's more complicated than that.
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040208
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blah-ze
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seems like i'll be spending valentines in a corner feeling stupid and sorry for myself... this would be so much easier if i wasn't so scared.
i don't want to look at her picture, i want to remember her face.
i don't want to know her life, i want to imagine her always happy.
i want to talk to her, but i don't know how, i just want to know her mind.
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040211
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minnesota_chris
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look for excuses to spend time with her. Smile at her. Rinse, repeat, she will be yours.
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040211
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minnesota_chris
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oops, I forgot to mention, if she wants you, she will be yours.
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040211
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blah-ze
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...and now im glad i didnt do anything stupid, been banging my head against the 'what if' wall way to often lately...
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040319
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demi more more more
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what's so impossible about you and her hooking up? Maybe she has been secretly wanting to be with you anyway. Try to make a casual friendship with her first and see where it leads to.
And eight years older than you isn't that much. I've seen yummy boys at least ten years younger than me that would be alot of fun for a fling.
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040320
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