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morbid_expectations
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megan
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i will not make you happy.
that being said, i will not live to your expectations, i will not force you to stay, and i will not seem to care when you do leave.
(but i will)
i will be hard-nosed and independent.
(and broken but no one has to know that)
i will be strong and stand up for myself.
(although i will fail and i will fall for someone again)
i will be me.
i will change my mind so many times it'll leave your head spinning, and in the end, i will force you to make the decision because i'm too indecisive.
you will not be happy with me at all times, life will not be perfect, nothing is going to seem right and everything will seem right all at the same time.
but don't send me into the storm. please don't jump ship when things get hard, and please don't give up when you feel like it.
stick it out. see what the future brings. see how strong we could be.
you didn't.
i tried to understand, but it's no use. you were always bull-headed, and you're going to be ok on your own simply because you have to now that you started.
i know you so completely, and yet i don't. you know me so thoroughly, and yet you still leave.
is that supposed to say something to me?
maybe someday you'll wake up one morning and think about me and wonder what i'm doing. wonder where i am, how i am, and how it would be if we were still together. maybe one day you'll regret your decision (and being selfish, i sincerely hope so). maybe you'll call me someday and just want to talk or reminisce or finally cry. but i don't know. i honestly don't know.
i want not to care. i want to be strong and independent and hard-nosed and all those "good" things, but you know me so well... you know i have never been like that and most likely never will be. you let me pretend for a good while... thanks for that...
i wish i could be completely happy again.
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040405
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minnesota_chris
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are you a single woman again megan?
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040405
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megan
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that i am chris
first time in a looong time
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040405
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minnesota_chris
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sorry to hear that. And it hasn't been that long since, um, that one. . . event. Big event.
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040406
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megan
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:)
it's ok
i will persevere
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040406
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minnesota_chris
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yes you will. Oh, and remember, he's a damn idiot.
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040406
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megan
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thank you :)
now about moving on... how do you propose i do that?
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040406
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minnesota_chris
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um, I'm no dating expert.
My sister is dating for the first time in 10 years. Two things that she has, that she didn't have 5 years ago: a waistline (she's on Atkins) and a law degree (or almost, rather).
So, um, be smart and skinny. And remember, you're awesome. And the whole idiot thing. You don't want any idiot babies crawling round your stomach.
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040407
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megan
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not at all lol
smart and skinny... i think i can pull it off thanks :)
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040407
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Paul Kemp
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I drink like a fish and try not to feel. Feeling only makes me more real. And I don't know if im ready for reallity yet.
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040412
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megan
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Paul Kemp
embrace reality. it is the only thing in this world that will remain.
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040412
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someone who knos better
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iwsh i could tell you itll all be ok megn
it wont
hell never luv u again
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040513
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megan
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wow some people really annoy me
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040513
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