blather
lovepain
Shugarhi Love
is the
pain you
love
to feel.
010920
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sEth You cant have love without any pain. 011110
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Aaron love someone more than you believe possible, it might be true, feelings overflowing, all my pain, the love inside, how does it feel when that person doesn't love you. how long wil you torture yourself, feelling, loving, trying, just trying for love? the ways i try, the extent of my pain, just loving you, and you don't love me. i think of you all the time, my mind and heart are just a mess, from loving you. i would have given you everything, my home, my money, but worth more than these, was my love, and i have given that to you without conditions, without any terms, all i wanted was for you to love me. paranoid, everyone is out to get me, even you, but i still love you. you left, crushed my heart, threw away my love. this how you feel when someone that you love doesn't love you. cold and alone, searching. this is what happens when someone doesn't love me. 011111
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psychobabe grrr i've met so many guys who are my friends, but only a few of them like agressive love. Ya know, the kind where you shove the one your with up against the wall and agressively kiss them then lightly kiss their neck. lol not like AH BITCH GO AGAINST THE WALL! but a play kinda push. And matt was the only guy i ever dated that was like that. God damn that boy liked painful love 011111
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nocturnal I can't decide which is worse; being the receiver of the pain...the one who got fucked over or whose heart was broken...or the guilt of being the one who caused it. if you don't hate the other person, I'm tempted to say it's worse to be the dealer of the pain because you can't help whatever made you do it...well, most of the time that's the case anyway. either way it sucks, really. 011111
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birdmad is not such a bad thing sometimes

this strange burning feeling that rushes like shockwaves from the center of my chest out to my fingertips at the thought of the one i love

like a million tiny, benign heart-attacks tempered only by the anxiety that it could all fall apart but buoyed by the hope that it will all come together

and counterbalanced by the needle-jab sensation of the miles that stand between
011111
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nom i always want to cut out my heart 060815
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birdmad in retrospect, i can laugh at myself for things i said

abnegation of that iteration of myself
060815
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iR yes i still love you. 060815
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LS I still choke on memories. Just not as much. 060815