list_of_loss
.
my
career
my
youth
my
dad
my
grandpa
my
home
my
best
friend
of
20
+
years
my
health
my
hope
my
dreams
my
idealism
(
what
some
would
call
growing_up
but
what
feels
like
only
growing_old)
230724
...
Elon
Are_you_free?
230724
...
.
yeah
i
am
free
but
lonely
i
was
trying
to
customer
service
an
older
woman
at
my
job
last
winter
,
asked
her
if
i
could
help
her
and
she
verbalized
a
strangely
echoing_thought
of
mine
'
he
can't
do
anything
for
himself
.
even
though
this
man
is
a
college
professor
he
can't
buy
his
own
lotion
.
that
is
what
i
gave
myself
up
for
...what
i
gave
my
freedom
up
for
.
to
buy
his
lotion
for
him
.'
her
vehemence
and
her
french
accent
reminded
me
of
yellow
vests, protestors
fighting
with
cops
.
when
people
ask
me
why
i
have
never
been
married
i
say
it's
because
i
haven't
met
a
man
or
person
for
that
matter
worth
giving
up
my
freedom
for
...her
bitter
longing
branded
my
soul
.
maybe
someday
i
will
actually
find
that
person
until
then
i
relish
being
able
to
do
what
i
want
when
i
want
230724
...
.
grief
means
something
totally
different
after
my
dad
in
the
past
few
months
i
have
framed
his
photography
moved
his
urn
to
a
more
prominent
location
put
his
face
with
my
mom
with
baby
me
on
my
new
fridge
and
maybe
it
hurts
so
bad
because
this
apartment
never
knew
his
voice
sometimes
still
all
i
can
do
is
cry
230724
