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megan
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i have decided that i am going to be happy
what a revelation indeed!
i have also decided that i'm going to stop turning guys away just because i have a weird feeling. i've decided that weird feeling is just me being retarded and that i'm just not used to the whole dating around thing anymore.
i have decided that when a boy asks me to dance i will. when a boy gives me his number i'll call. and when someone writes me poetry, i won't feel guilty.
i'm going to be happy.
they say that in order to climb out of depression, you have to go through the motions first. so i'm going to smile more, i'm going to keep my shoulders back, i'm going to sit up straight. i'm going to look people right in the eye and say hello when i pass them on the street. no more of that look away please don't see me stuff. i'm going to be up front with people, and if they can't handle that, they can't handle me.
i'm going to be happy.
i've decided that when i want to do something for myself, i will do it. i've also decided that i will make my own choices from now on, because i need to find out who i truely am, not anyone else shining through me. i'm going to listen to my kind of music because i like it, i'm going to watch movies that make me have strong feelings, and i'm going to eat at places that i love because i just do. i'm going to exercise! i will go to lap swims when i can, and i will attempt to run on the treadmill. i'm going to shave my legs more! and take more care of my face, and paint my toenails.
i'm going to go clothes shopping and look like a hot mama because i feel like it. not for anyone else.
i'm going to be happy.
i'm going to be happy.
anyone care to join me?
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040510
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minnesota_chris
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yay oh yay
times 1000
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040510
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megan
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i can always count on you chris for an enlightening comment :)
wuvu
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040511
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minnesota_chris
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that was my thought. "Oh, this is really poetic art I'm writing here." But I'm happy for you, and I gotta reach for that jar of good stuff myself.
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040511
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r1y9a6n4
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i had been through the trenches. life had found this funny way of teaching what it had by showing me that nothing was available. so i became complacent. I went to work, didn't bother anyone and paid my bills. for all intents and purposes, i was happy.
then I finally had something come into the whole picture that changed it all. yes it was okay before. i felt that i had the ability to handle anything with a moment;s grace and that there wasn't a word that could bring me down.
but things changed. i found something that makes it all taste better. the sweets tatse sweeter. and I still have that same confidence that tells me life will be good. its just that now it is decorated. thigns are more fun. i have something to whcih i look forward every moment of the day. right now that little "life decoration" is sitting behind me tickling my back and making the moments feel like they will never end. she may be reading this over my shoulder. she may be so engrossed in her task that she thinks of nothing else... i do not know. but the feelings that she allows me to feel again are something that I will try top remember always. they remind me that it is okay to be good, but it feels so much better to be excited.........
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040512
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marked
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happy for you, megan.
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040526
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