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dying embers
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You would say it doesn't matter. I would agree. But we would both be lying to ourselves. Not to mention each other. It matters.
I've learned that slowly. Everything matters, weather it should or not, weather you want it to or not. It matters and to deny that is to deny something intrinsic in yourself.
You matter to me in a huge huge way. Maybe you never knew, maybe I didn't do it properly. You mattered to me the way rain matters to the corn... it can still grow with a little rain, but it isn't any good.
I need you. I need your steady hand and your calm soul. I need your strength and firmness. I need all those qualities in you that made you beautiful, because I can not make or feign them on my own.
I used to want to explain to you how I felt about you how you were for me... I couldn't. I still cannot. You are a stranger to me and yet our souls still fit and I know that when you hold me you remember just a little, like I do, how it was when all was right.
In every life a little rain must fall, and maybe our hurricane ripped us apart, but sometimes I wonder how far away we really are.
I remember little things... back roads and rainy days, trips to the mall, pulled pork sandwiches, the roof, your sub, Harvey, Go Fish and Pool, the park on 724 I could never find without you.
And I think, maybe these memories are all that is left. But maybe, just maybe... "She loved him in a way she could not describe. As the ocean washes over the sand, so he washed over her and left a piece of himself with her. And as the sand goes out with the sea, so part of her had gone with him." Maybe not...
So maybe I'm better now, new friends, new guys, new life, but some part of me will always be that girl, because you remade me. You are my reason.
You still have all of me.
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