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let_yourself_grieve
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Risen
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My therapist is convinced I need to let myself grieve.
Apparently, over-intellectualising everything, and trying to put a brave face on things and just keep swimming is not sufficient. It is necessary to acknowledge the sadness and pain, and grieve for the losses or what might have been.
I am working hard on this. I am writing an ingratitude list - things I am not grateful for. I am letting myself grieve.
You should too
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unhinged
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meditation
often leads me to
wept
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unhinged
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(i participated in an online meditation course awhile back that was focusing on meditation as inhabitation of the body. in recent years western meditation teachers have veered away from the idea of no_thought to the idea of clear_feeling. to the idea that westerners carry so much guilt and shame and self_hate that we bring to the idea and practice of meditation, that the whole practice can become just another way we beat ourselves up.
the human mind never really stops thinking. but it can stop judging.
the subtle energy body affects the physical body, whether we attend to this or not
trauma = pain
now_or_later
there is no getting around this
grief = exploration of how trauma transfers from our subtle body to our physical body and how we can release it before it becomes trapped, ingrained.
my whole childhood my father told me i was too sensitive. that i needed to be tougher, to buck up. that led me to a lot of internalizing and repression.
after study and practice, i view my meditation as just allowing myself to sit with my feelings and let them be. the catharsis of tears that come up during meditation is undeniable. over years, it has led me to a much healthier interaction with my feelings. they are what they are. i am what i am. the space to be is the best gift i have ever given myself)
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Soma
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they don't even have to be dead.
the process is the same, when you learn to cut people out of your life.
gangrene.
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