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dondeestanlosjaguares
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before i begin, there is one who is in most of the writing i have placed here. she is a child of the light and i have only shrowded her with my towering shadow. i would do more harm to try to continue by her side, so i lay my life down, as i would say i would do for her, countless times.
in the end, i have failed to realize a bit too late, that my love is tainted. i have given her a curse, which i deemed a gift, and have ruined a great part of her life. in the years that we were "together" i chained her will, and enslaved her freedom. only a monster of specific sorts can do such a thing, and i have definitely proved to be so. it wasn't the time and we weren't in the right places. now, i must move on. . . set her free and be of no more burden to her.
during the years, i have, scattered my energy on false gods, always hoping one of them would do me well. like a gambler slipping meager coins into different slot machines, hoping one of them would pay off, i knew it was useless, but i did nothing to stop it. now at the end of the line, i see i am poor, with little to nothing left. what good can i do now? i will take what's left and do the only thing i knew was right since the beginning. those of faith know of what i speak, any other wouldn't, couldn't understand. i withdraw all my power from those bleak places i left them, and i will start over, with a fresh chance.
yes, these are all rumblings of an old soul who knows how to do nothing else. but i will learn, and i will become something more. life is beautiful, and full of hope, if you know where to place that hope, you will always prevail.
key:
knowledge is the know how
wisdom is the know when
experience is the know how much
faith is the know why
power is means to do it
heart is for humility and so you don't over do it
i'm sure there are those who will disagree with me. . . i care not.
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040907
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