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unhinged
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the mormon church has a surprising presence in seattle. since i moved here, they have put billboards of their diversity campaign up all over town. i grew up in ohio. being the first place john smith fled after his cult was chased out of town somewhere to the east, to this day northeast ohio has a pretty large mormon population. i did a research paper on the mormon migration in high school. i sang in choir with the bishop's daughter. i went to dances for teenagers at the local mormon church. i was treated like a subhuman by my stand partner in orchestra because mormonism preaches the subservience of women. i know more than most non_believers about the church of christ of latter day saints.
one of the details that always bothered me was that in order to become a full fledged adult in the church, every man and woman has to go on a mission spreading the book of mormon disguised as the message of jesus across the world.
i notice several missionaries in the neighborhood near the university of washington. i have overheard 'conversations' that these missionaries have with young atheists. not being christian, and being particularly disgusted with some of the more peculiar doctrines of mormonism, i avoid eye_contact with the missionaries, especially the young asian girl i see at the busstop on university avenue and 43rd street. i keep my headphones on most days; it is usually a good avoidance tactic.
last week i had left my headphones around my neck for my long trip home from teaching. i have come to appreciate silence more. the busstop was empty aside from me. i was looking down, a combination of my stiff neck and my newer practice of avoiding eye_contact with the street crazies. there has been a rash of stabbings and shootings in seattle perpetrated by street people who should be institutionalized for no seeming reason other than the fact that they are cucoo crazy. better to leave that alone.
feet popped into my view 'excuse me miss, can i talk to you for a moment?' it was the asian girl that i often saw at that particular busstop. i knew it was just a matter of time before she tried to speak to me. i was dreading telling a mormon i was buddhist.
i forced my lips into a smile 'sure'
she pointed at her missionary badge which said sister mai in bigger letters with the church of jesus christ of latter day saints in smaller letters underneath 'do you know about my church?' it was obvious english was her second language.
'yes, actually i do. i grew up with plenty of mormons.'
she seemed slightly surprised 'do you have religion in your life?'
'yes' i cringed
'what religion?'
'i'm buddhist'
'what do you think religion brings to your life?'
'i think that it helps me to be more kind, more patient, and more generous. isn't that what religion is supposed to do?'
sister mai noticeably struggled with my answer, with her english. 'well, do you believe in God?'
i could feel my face harden 'no, i do not believe in God. i'm buddhist'
there was a few moments of awkward silence while, sister mai's mouth and brain tried to form words, while i clenched myself against what i thought was the inevitable sales pitch of a missionary. she looked at me and said 'i respect your religion. can i pray for you?'
my face relaxed, my stomach and my heart unclenched. 'sure, you can pray for my family.'
'is your family here in seattle?'
'no, most of my family is in ohio.'
'oh, ok.' she closed her eyes and began to pray. i resisted my catholic impulse to join her, but studied her face as she prayed. 'dear lord, i am so grateful to meet nicole today. i am so grateful for her kindness. please watch over her family and guide them to happiness. i am just so grateful today lord.' sic, i lost track of some of her words, but her earnest genuine prayer loosened my heart even more.
skillful sister mai, skillful.
at the end of the prayer when she said amen, i resisted the impulse to join her, but as she opened her eyes, i smiled at her 'thank you'
she smiled back 'would you like one of my cards?'
'sure. if i find someone i think might be able to use it, i can pass it along.'
she dug a card out and handed it to me; for the first time i noticed the second missionary standing nearby and smiled at her too.
while i might not agree with polygamy or misoygny, i am grateful too sister mai. grateful for your respect, grateful for your prayer, grateful for this human life that is leading me closer and closer to liberation and contentment.
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