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Lost
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After a year, you'd think all would be forgotten... and yet... here I am on IM, staring at a screen name I tried deleting at least 20 times... every time, it came back onto my buddy list somehow.
So here I am staring at an open IM window, trying to convince myself to hit Enter to send a friendly message that could not possibly be read into. "Long time, no talk." Somehow, I don't expect something friendly back, even though she's a friendly person. Somehow, I expect animosity; I expect her to be angry that I would dare dig up old ghosts by still existing.
And so here I am, staring at a half-empty IM window, trying to hit Enter, half-hoping she'll just sign off.
And, finally, she does.
It's only a temporary relief, though... she'll be on again tomorrow.
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010524
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