blather
i_want_to_but_i_won't
Ion maker say what I should say
and move my body away.

but you have a deep need
to complain about everything
that will not ever go right
and all that has ever gone wrong.

all your words are alcoholic,
and your eyes are downcast.

i don't want to leave you,

liking your want to express,

but i can't take this anymore.

you won't change and i've changed too much for you, past the line when i should have said enough.

you require someone else,
someone with greater compassion and inherent strength to withstand your constant outbursts and damage.
100403
...
just a kid last night he looked so good, so pretty, and I wanted to fuck him so badly

instead I smiled, and opened the door for him, and said "good night", "see you Monday"

and I woke up this morning, alone, with a little bit more of my self-respect instead of a little bit less. I'd actually forgotten how that felt.
100404