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little wonder
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dear blather
it's been awhile. I think about you often. Well, not often.
Sometimes.
I'm in graduate school now.
I live in a state that's always hot and the rooftops in the suburbs form seas of cookie cutter houses and anonymity through sameness.
I don't think the people are that much worse here than they are anywhere, but maybe I am just used to them now. Maybe I expect it. And also I spend most of my time in a small liberal pocket and surround myself with good people, so there is that.
But sometimes I have fondness for where I am. This 3 mile radius of familiarity. The other day I felt a little pang of affection for the gas station I sometimes fill up my car at. I think it's a mild version of Stockholm_syndrome.
Despite all of this, everything feels more right than it has in a long time. All of the pieces of my life (except for my current physical location, Stockholm syndrome aside) feel right. Sometimes when I'm driving around I think "Holy shit, there is nothing in my life I am dreading right now. I am not dreading Monday because I get to make things - AGAIN! - on Monday. On every day! That is what I do now! I am not dreading my job because while it's not the most fun it leaves my soul intact. Everything is pretty great even though I am poor as fuck."
I do miss Minnesota, though. A lot. I dream of boats on the water and bitter cold. I miss snow. I miss the_north. But this is not permanent, and sometimes I get to go back.
Hi-ho.
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