blather
i_cant_do_this_alone
love & hate I cant do this alone. Not without you. My world is falling apart. I cant stop crying. I cant stop cutting. I cant stop pushing people away. I cant stop my thoughts which are driving me insane.
I cant do this alone. Not without you. Without your touch, without your love. Your love is all i need but you wont give it to me. I am going insane, my head hurts, my heart hurts, my arm hurts, everything hurts. Make it stop, please make this stop! 		040422
...
sab and that was what she truly believed
that she couldnt exsist with his constant support
without his constant company
without him constantly around.

she looked to him for constant approval
for constant validation
as if when he wasnt looking right at her
she would simply fade away
she needed him
to live her life
she lived her life
through him
for him.

and when he took a step back
she no longer had
the thing she had been leaning on
the thing she had been living on
and she spiraled further down
into her insanity
because she had never learned
to live for herself.
she had never learned
to see herself as an individual
she had never learned to see herself
as anything but part
of someone else.


welcome to the race against time.
i sit on the edges of her tangled, bloodwet madness
like a lifeguard
wondering if she'll learn to live as herself
before she goes totally insane 		040422
what's it to you? blather
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