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arwyn
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I want to be able to hold you and to be held, but it terrifies me.
It's too close.
Too intimate.
You might actually love me and I don't think I can handle that.
Even after this much time.
Please don't think I don't love you. I love you desperately. The kind of love that is embarrassing to talk about because it involves soul mates and love songs and wanting to spend my whole life just laying in bed watching rain fall and talking about nothing.
I don't know how to say all that.
I don't know how to let you see that part of me.
I'm so scared, even after all this time, that you'll reject me.
I just can't.
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190305
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