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i_can't_do_that_to_someone_i_love
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bethany
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*ring ring*
me: mommy can you bring me home some mcdonalds?
mommy: you dont need that, i mean it's 11 at night
ma:how about some taco bell then?
mommy: i made a nice salad before work, it's in the fridge...
me: but i dont waaaannnaaa eat salad
mommy: no, you should eat that, junk food will go straight to your heart and i can't do that to someone i love
this salad SUCKS
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020823
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unhinged
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i don't love her anymore, actually i rather despise her, and i still can't tell her to fuck off. sorry sweetheart, you fucked it up. i have been told i'm somewhat of a sado-masochist but someday when you grow up you will learn about drawing lines.
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020823
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three words
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i_can't_do_that_to_someone_i_love
literary_fever burdened_dreamer
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100921
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unhinged
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but it seems like you have absolutely no problem with it
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100921
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rhin
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but you are doing it to me and you can't see it, or don't care to see it, or just don't want to see it. i'm letting you do this to me because i'm hanging on to some shredd of i don't know what. do you know how fucking sick it feels to want to hate someone you love so much? it's killing me. i'm allowing you to kill whatever is left of my soul.
to the young blatherskites, pray that you don't end up my age as fucked up as i feel. relationships, career, life choices get easier with age? bullshit. figure it out now. find your center. face everything and deal with everything.
i should be settled into some kind of secure marriage with children - going to pta's and making fucking cupcakes. i'm back in school again, love is shot. it feels like i'm back to zero and i'm not getting younger. i'm in a race with time and it's scary as hell. i feel like jumping out of my skin.
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100922
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