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andie
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written 12-8-00
so many times when even the stars are asleep, i wake up to the sight of his back. and i long to feel it, touch it, kiss it, to feel the silky smooth i've come to love. but all too often...
i can't.
our past few weeks have been filled with so many words spoken in anger. and looks that lack the need for speech. regret tumbles in when my reply to him stings us both. i need to tell him i'm sorry...
but i can't find the words.
when my fears are almost seen as reality, i almost see it through, no energy to stop him. no one to blame but myself, although i know i will always feel him, want him, need him. i need a way to keep him from leaving...
but i can't make him stay.
our future right now is uncertain. i've no idea what we are headed for or even where the hell we're coming from-stumbling over obstacles unseen and unheard of. i need to take his hand to steady me...
but i can't reach it.
so many times, when even the moon has gone to bed, i wake up and all i see is the moonlight on his back. and i ache to turn him, tap him, wake him, to bring him into my world. but after such a promise is broken...
i can't.
copyright 2001
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010130
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