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Rickster
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You were once my companion, always by my side. No matter the time of day, night, we were always together to reside. You showed me infinite love and held me in your arms, I did my best to show you the same, in return. I cannot explain to you how it felt with words, when you left my life, unseen and unheard. You had so much to live for, yet you were taken so young. I curse GOD and his bigger fucking plan. Who is he to decide the fates? How can he be the one, to tell me it's okay? How can he be the one to tell me when I should stop the remorse, it's not his fucking place to tell me such things! I find myself crying, something I have not been able to do for such a long time, the rememberence of you, the loss of the shared time. You meant everything to me at the time you were with me, yet you left this world due to horrible causes. Why is God so fucking cruel, I feel that he has singled me out and beaten me and used me like a tool. In my life I have always strived to do my best, to create my surroundings and be honest with everyone, and myself. Yet the treachery of this God that seems so loving, his infinite compassion is a fucking joke. He means nothing to me, I doubt he ever will, You've lost all of my faith you fucking pathetic old man over the hill. Just the thought alone of what you have taken away, makes me mad, hate, want to destroy EVERYTHING you say. You people want your God to be so merciful, yet he takes out those that have done nothing but plee. WHY can you not see there is more of a problem, because you turn your back to us, we're not your children. You think you can be called our creator, in fact now I think you hated her. You took her away from, and from her family and friends, you showed me no love, no compassion, no means to an end. I held onto her as long as I could, one day she turned up missing, never to be seen again. I found out later what had happened to my one, she died a horrible death at the cause of a man with a fucking gun. The pain I want to cause to this man that took her away, could not be compared in any other way. If I ever find you, you better pray to your God, If I ever see you, you'll burn there on the spot. My rage has consumed me wholey, you took away my heart, you took it away stomped on it, never letting me start. You fucking bastard I'll kill you dead, I'll find out where you are and rip of your mother fucking head. You'll learn your lesson, you caused such tragedy, you took away the mother of a child that was only 3, you fucking imbecile you know nothing of pain. I will show you when I bring upon you the crimson rain. I will dig my knife in your heart and eat it, you ruined my life at one time now your going to feel it! These tears are stopping their flowing, I realize I cry for a lost cause, yet you meant so much to me, I thought I knew what for. I cannot let myself cry forever, I must be strong, and realize that its something thats over. Not willing to let go of your embrace on my heart, your always going to be there, when I close my eyes and see you with a cold blank stare. This will forever be my reminder of you, you made my life complete, now its just fucking screwed. I found someone else who has helped me fill this void, this hole that I have, yet I still feel odd. Something will always be missing from where it was before, but I know this now and have accepted it. I shall continue on with my life, and do the best of my ability. Perhaps you are the one that taught me myself, I thank you for your love that we shared. You told me so much, and taught me how to care. I love you forever sweetheart, I will see you in dreams from time to time, just so we can keep up with telling our silly little stories to each other under the stars.
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021227
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