blather
how_to_destroy_angels
h|s|g How to Destroy Angles
the_spaces_in_between
101007
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h|s|g is listen_in to nin 101007
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Caroline 452 I snuck over to her new house, and peeked thru the window and watched her and her new lover. Then once he left, I knocked on her door, and told her what I had done. She felt violated, naturally. I’ve made myself into a peeping tom, a pervert, a stalker. Am I mentally ill? Do I need help? I don’t even understand my own motivation for doing it. It was better than laying in bed sleepless and hyperventilating, although I’m still sleepless. I have to get up in 2 hours. I doubt I’ll sleep at all.
She will probably hate me now. I can’t blame her. Maybe on some level I wanted that. Her love for all of me except my sexuality makes it very hard to let go. I thought I would have to turn my love to hate to get over her, but now that she will probably hate me, that makes it easier.
Who am I kidding? No one, least of all myself.
101008
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Ouroboros Fortunately for all of us, angels cannot be destroyed. People have tried, that's for sure. Wings have been sawed off, but new ones always grew from the scarring. Humans have tried to provoke fights with them, but the angels only loved them more for it. I once heard about a man who stabbed an angel in the heart with a knife. As he lay there, the angel blessed the man. The man realized he had tried to destroy_something_beautiful and as he wept, his tears healed the angel.

For as long as we have been here, and for as long as we will be here, angels will be on our side, helping us lead each other to the light.
101008
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Ouroboros this is your time, your wake-up call, to know_thyself 101008
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Ouroboros now it's my turn to hyperventilate. that i may have to go on, day after day, without you in my life, without talking to you or touching you or being with you, is cataclysmic. it's unbearable. what have i done? why didn't i fight for us harder? anything but this. 101011
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. 101012
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Soma I found myself with the title
capital letters on a handmade badge
I tried taking my own wings off
halfheartedly trying to be more human
scared to be seen as something else
sometimes falling and plummeting
until i hit the bottom with a crash
crying, saying, see - i could never fly!
but she just came
and calmly pointed them out
saying
you don't get to choose who you are to me
and forgetting how to use them
doesn't change what you are

i don't get to destroy angels
but I will be your destroying angel
and give me all the wrath of a jealous god
and perhaps just maybe
that is enough
180210