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I believe we're on speaking terms again, although he keeps doing the mental equivalent of turning up the stereo in his room full blast so he doesn't have to hear me.
But I'm being patient this time. He is scared, he is confused, and he is STRONG..so in the end he can be dangerous..deadly. But in the core of it, there's a little boy asked to protect the weak who found weakness where he was and became STRONG to defend himself. A loyal child who would knock a friend from the path of a speeding train despite any insistence that there is no train..and lose the friend forever, just to see them safe.
He's an honest guy. He used to be a trusting guy, but we all know how that goes...and goes away.
But I believe that for the first time in 8 years, we're finally communicating again. This time, I won't be so hard on him. This time, I'll be more forgiving. This time, I'll make allowances for his conditioning, for the mistrust of me brought on by his apparent annihilation by my hand.
This time we're partners in this thing. This time no one pulls, no one pushes, we walk side by side..and he will be comforted along the way.
This time no one holds the reains. This time there are no reins. This time the donkey walk willingly to the pasture; knowing it now not as prison..but as home.
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