|
| |
goodbye_again
|
|
|
Doar
|
Im at another wall,
maybe the wall that let's me pound my head in,
But I'm here again,
coughing up blood,
early morning wakeup.
I have come to blather to say things I would never say in my waking life.
Should I end this life?
Sould I continue?
I have nothing when I don't drink,
I have nothing but messy feelings when I do.
And all I see is "I",
"I" in everything.
Interest in all that occupied the senses,
Interest in what used to fill this time.
This "I" has to go.
This "I" is displacement.
These ignored self suffereances,
This decison will be made tonight.
|
080219
|
| |
... |
|
|
pobodys nerfect
|
Doar, you sound like you could really use a hug, sooo...
*HUG* --sorry i can't make it bigger (or have it be real...you sound quite sad and it concerns me =0/ )
No matter how sad or depressed i get (and i promise you, i've been to very low points in my life), i can't help but let this little quote (from an episode of "Dr. Quinn" i once watched) sneak into my head:
"It may be rainin', but tomorrow the sun is gonna shine"
Whatever you're going through, i wish you well in fighting off your own personal demons, and i hope you see the sun soon. It might not look like it, but it's there, dear. Take care.
|
080219
|
| |
... |
|
|
Doar
|
I need more than a hug PN.
But than again I've survived 18 years of lonliness.
. And it sucks...
.
|
080428
|
| |
... |
|
|
Doar
|
my demons have arrayed themselves into a wallpaper, which I view every morning.
.
|
080428
|
| |
... |
|
|
sameolme
|
Sounds like you need to leave the wallpaper behind. Get out of your head and into the wild. Perhaps walk the spine of the Sierras. In wilderness there can be healing. Whatever healing works for you,
I hope that you find it.
|
080429
|
| |
... |
|
|
sameolme
|
On the other hand, you could paint mustaches on the demons.
|
080429
|
| |
... |
|
|
pobodys nerfect
|
*eyes light up at sameolme's suggestion*
Oh yes, and we could give them funny
hair and wild makeup too! *grabs some multi-coloured markers and hands them to Doar*
Demons like to look scary, so maybe it'll annoy them enough to feel they're no welcome there anymore. ;0)
But seriously though Doary, i'm not trying to make light of your problems... i just feel like you can make it through whatever you're struggling with, and this is my way of saying i hope you do. =0)
Remember, if everything came easy, it would not be worth having, right?
|
080429
|
| |
... |
|
|
Doar
|
That is the maestrol PN.
My heart is dull
but my wanting is near
such a strange word "near"
I am wanting/needing of near
the soft touch of a womans hand
the imperfection of a lady
the need of a love
my heart is broken
broken
tossed
away
all I have are these fingers
all I have
is this blue
this heart, beating
beating for anything
that brings the touch
the heart of you
I have everything
I leave nothing
I come unmade towards you
You made me flee myself
The world suggests
us
in dreams
requires us
to melt
to form
some cloud
that races
across the earth
Our hearts
rested here
a smal home
to ride this life upon
|
081116
|
| |
... |
|
|
They call me Truth
|
You are still on my mind...
and though I must move on with my life...and determined to find a space again for love
|
081116
|
| |
... |
|
|
Doar
|
I draw the words again
they spill like a mild embrace
the truth is a dire
want of touch and taste
i don't know if i can
continue to do this
this self absolving
forest track
my skin is here
the glade is close
leaves fall, as seasonal
they will
embrace us
embrace them
embrace us
to begin.
|
081116
|
