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perfectly_chaotic
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The season is only just beginning and I am now announcing my candidacy in the race to be the first one of the season to say "Bah, humbug!"
Normally, my entire extended family gets together to celebrate. Many of my cousins have started their own families. I get to see my sister and her now betrothed sitting together and watch as she leans on him or they hold hands. My brother has a new girlfriend this year; however for the past 4 or 5 years I watched him and his old girlfriend parade around. My mother sits with my father; my aunt with a step-uncle; my grandmother with my grandfather.
My one consolation this year is that since we are not getting together as an extended family I do not have to listen to my grandmother asking me "When are you gonna bring someone with you?" Basically, she wants more grandbabies...
Nearly every year of my life, except for one, I have been single throughout the holiday season. Only one Thanksgiving was I able to be thankful for a girlfriend. Only one Christmas and New Year's Eve have I had the gift of a significant other. Still haven't had anyone to give my heart to for a Valentine's...
Today I looked at my brother and his girlfriend; my sister and her betrothed; my mother and father. Do not get me wrong, it is not that I am unhappy for them. I am very happy for them. It is not that I think that their relationships make them happy. I know those relationships are not perfect and are not the sole cause of their happiness. So why do I say "Bah, humbug!" you ask. It is the fact that the holidays remind me of something. They do not remind me of the fact that I am alone; the room full of people will atest to that. They remind me of my lack of a consort...
To my grandmother, or anyone else that asks, "When are you gonna find somebody?" I have a few things I would like to ask:
When am I gonna find somebody who actually cares? When am i gonna find somebody who views me as more than just someone they can call when they need a fuck? When am I gonna find somebody who is not stuck on their ex? When am I gonna find somebody who is actually ready to be found, to love and to be loved back? When will this no longer seem like too much to ask?
My hat is now in the ring...
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