blather
give_in_give_up
mon grab the bat
go down get out
step up to the plate
reverse the music is playing
backwards forwards it's all the same
i gave away my arrow plain
now it's just so easy
too easy to try
to try so easy
i swing and miss the sky
031125
...
from here to infirmary in case you're wondering
we're singing
about growing up
about giving up
and giving in
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...
mon uow heaviness 050223
...
unhinged i don't have the fortitude to care about this shit anymore
so i
give in
give up


why am i always the one that has to put up with the bullshit with a smile so that everyone else can kick and scream? why do they all have that expectation of me? that i should enjoy taking one for the team over and over and over again....
so i
give in
give up

is it really triumph if you have no recognition of it? a piece of paper is not enough recognition for me anymmore; i can't continue to make decisions that make everyone else happy while i am completely miserable. here, i am completely miserable.

so i give in to the urge to crawl in my hole, where at least i can make myself miserable the best way i know how.
050223