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Ouroboros
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sleeping_with_you
frozen fragments of
what we were together.
and the lust, and passion.
anger was there too
familiarity, and comfort.
but not heart connection,
not love,
not really.
the distance between us is now
even more pronounced.
i wanted to be close to you
but the "you" that i yearned for
no longer exists.
it is past.
we found some solace.
i made food, you ate it.
you fucked me. i moaned. you came.
we slept. we said goodbye.
and i was without turmoil,
until this morning
remembering, i felt shame.
dirty. and not in any kind of good way.
we had sex, like fuck buddies or something impersonal.
i don't want to have sex be like that!
i'm glad it happened though,
as the fact that we didn't
get back together and proclaim
undying love and all that.
that dance has ended.
now what?
how to be friends?
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