blather
forcing_myself_silent
misstree i don't want him to know
how bad off i am, because
if he does, he'll worry.

i can't tell him
how much the physical distance hurts,
because there's nothing to be done for it
so there's no use in mentioning it.

i can't cry out
from the cramp in my gut, seeing
that of course i share his affections,
it was merely pleasent delusion
to think that i was special.
if he hears, he will know
that something truly benign
has turned to nettles in my belly
despite the protests of reason and heart.

so when he asks,
"what's wrong,"
what am i to say?
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