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for_jesse
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puredream
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I have chosen to mark these words down into deep blue pages...oblivion...for a very important reason. So as never to forget...always to remember. To remind me. To make everything more real. I want to make sure that I don't change. That all my changes reflect what I want right now. Right now is real. If I ever lose that, then I will no longer have what I want. What is real. I had a glimpse of forever tonight, I held it close in my hand and placed it in my heart. Right alongside you, or... are you the same thing?
Years from now, many years from this point, this moment in time. I still want you there. Spinning through the courtyards of my heart, running through the forests of my mind and flying through the galaxies of my soul. I want you part of me. I want you to hold_my_hand always. This always word... this forever... it's never really been a part of me until you came along. Would it shock you to know that you were my first real glimpse of forever?
People change. Every person who claims to have the experience of life quotes this. People change... we all move on. But why? When did you feel the most? At one point in your life was pain more real? Love more true? At what point in your life did tears burn your cheeks... no longer staining but ripping a pathway through your soul. At what point did love take you to the stars and let you fall crashing back to Earth? At what point was everything real? Now.
Well I won't forget. I will never forget. I can't forget. All these moments. All these words. All these forever's. They are now, they are real and they are part of me. Me. The me that I know. The me that 10, 20 or 400 years from now that I still want to be. The one that dreams. That feels. That loves. That cries. That spins. And frolicks and sings. And jumps and falls. The me that breathes. I want this me forever. I want this you forever.
Forever. Further than this next minute I don't know what will happen. And for the first time I'm not afraid. I have nothing to be afraid of. No fear. Thank you.
I want to take all of you with me. Show you the world. Show you forever. Share with you. Share with you the world. Share with you forever. The ocean. The stars. The skies. The moons. The clouds. The grass. The birds. The flowers. The snow. The icicles. The lightning. The music. Forever is life. Life is forever. Share life.
There's a journey on the horizon. I can smell it spinning. It's getting ready to play. And I can't wait to join in. To run and play. To breathe life. If it is love I jump into, I take a running start. If it's pain I dive into, I go head first. Life. I plunge. I leap. I love. I hate. I run. I hide. I feel.
The most important thing I want to remember is that I feel. I feel you. In all the places in your mind. All the feelings in your heart. All the stars in your soul. I feel all of them within my being. I feel.
You see me. I can't hide from you. I always hide. I always run. I am so accustomed to wanting to run. So accustomed to running. This whole never wanting to let go feeling is so new for me. So real. The routine thoughts come and go. But the plots, and plan, the tomorrows without...aren't there. Only tomorrows with. With you.
This all may seem like a little much. But that's because it is. It is everything. If you were to ask me why I love you. I would tell you, looking straight into your eyes. Speaking to your soul. I love you because you are everything. You are your own galaxy. With your own worlds. Stars. Moons. Shapes. Places. Trees. Breezes. Emotions. Thoughts. Music. Feelings. You are your own, everything. And you are all that I could ever want.
To know all this. To know everything. To see a heart full of the sun and a mind full of the sky and a soul full of stars. To know the moon. And to still want to stay. To never let go. That is how I know this feeling is real. These moments are real. This is how I know what forever is. How I know what forever feels like.
I don't want to change away from you. And if I do, it's not what I want. I believe it impossible for anyone to place a more real forever in front of me. To place a brighter rain, a fresher fog. It is impossible. For you are all these things. And more.
All these words are for you. All the words. For you. All. For you. Me. All. All of me. For you. For you. All of me.
Next time it rains. Next time the sun shines. Next time I cry. Next time I smile. Next time I breathe. Next time I die. Next time I spin. Next time I swim. Next time I swallow. Next time I scream. Next time I sing. Next time I sleep. I will think of you. I will love you. Next time. For you. I will think of you. Forever. Always. Of you.
You are a golden moon. A bright blue sky. A fluffy cloud. A billion stars. A falling sun. A thousand notes upon a page. A life painted. For all to see. You are everything.
I love you Jesse.
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040715
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lucky
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.
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040813
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lucky
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don't *link*
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040816
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god
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thanx for the etchings and plates
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040816
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lucky
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like_rain
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040821
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lucky
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moon and lucky
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040821
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lucky
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chase and_i_will see_you_in
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040821
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lucky
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grasp won_me_over_again_with he_kisses side_smile
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040821
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lucky
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wishing to_the_boy_with_forever_in_his_eyes
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040821
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lucky
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silent_tears holding_forever
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040821
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lucky
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our_house good_things_that_happenedto_me_today
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040821
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lucky
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best_friend
forever_friend
beauty
rainbow_in_the_sky
the_incandescent_questionnaire
kissing_in_the_rain
it's_not_that_it's_bad
incomplete
dancing_on_my_skin
without
i_miss
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040821
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lucky
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"I love you more today than yesterday... but not as much as tomorrow...!!!"
I'd like to say that I loved you then like I love you now except that'd be a lie because I love you way more now than I did then... and when is then anyway?
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040822
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:0
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well someones gunna be bloody lucky then,
....if not speechless
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040906
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