|
dondeestanlosjaguares
|
it never seems to end. trial after trial, words form in my mind, and I want to yell, and tell you how much I hate being away. I want to be able to hold you in my arms, without having to know it may be the last time. but I guess that is how life is at times. you don't ever really know when the last time is that you are going to be able to hug that certain loved one. you don't know if you are going to get another chance to stare that person in their eyes again. you may never have a chance to prove to them what they mean to you. sure you could pretend, but you never really know. I wish there was some way that I could show you, I wish that there was some way that I could just say, "I love you" and not have to follow it with a "goodbye." it isn't easy. no, it's hard as hell, but i don't have a choice but to sit here and complain. what more can I do? what else is there to do. . . .
as i sit here, i want to know you are missing me as much as I missing you. as i sit here, i want to know that you are loving me more with every piece of your soul, with every cell in your body, with every ounce of your strength, and still be sitting here, be able to let you know, that I feel the same.
I want you to know that all this pain that I feel from being away from you feeds the motivation to want to be with you so much more. i've been infected with this pain, and I know no other cure than to be with you. I know what it is like to be away, I know what it is like to not hold your hand when you need it, smile when I know you're happy, but how sad you really are inside, because I can't be with you. I don't like being away, but in order to find my way to you, i need to go through this jungle of despair, pain, sorrow, loneliness, and even though it may seem I am wandering lost through such thick vines and my feet get tangled and I slip and trip and fall, and i bruise, I know that you are there, waiting, and I want to be there with you. I just need to get through this. i need to get to you. right now, i am finding my way there, even though it is such torture, i miss you and need you. im getting there, im finding my way to you, my love.
|
030608
|
