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endless_desire_i_am_calling_you_out
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Christ without the cross
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I have never felt so close to someone in a long time. i don't want to scare you. This is not any obsessive thing, well, it probably is more of a connection i felt when reading your blathe under when_words_are_not_enough .I was deeply intrigued and i wanted to hear some of your views on stuff. so i am calling you out. if you are interesting holla at me. i would love a chance to get to know those thoughts that you are afraid to share. I don't think that i have been this fascinated in a long time.
Don't want to scare you, but I have decided to be perfectly honest in hopes that you won't see this in a bad light. No pressure though. We can let this page fade into the blue.
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061026
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endless desire
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well i meant to write that under: a_page_for_des_to_ramble but i accidently posted it there. oh well--a blather blooper, i suppose. i hate making those because there's no erasing or editing them. it's just nonsense that gets lost in the blue pages.
anyways, thanks for calling me out! im quite fascinated by you as well. do you have a blather nickname yet? i was trying to come up with one because christ_without_the_cross is rather long, but i can only thing of realllly dumb things. you'd laugh if you heard them, i swear.
either way, dear christ_without_the_cross, since it's been a few days, im officially calling YOU out to come discuss life and it's tangled weave of circumstances with me. im fascinated by your fascination, haha. hope you're doing well :)
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061029
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Christ without the cross
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lol. I'm here. Since it is a mutual thing i would have to ask you to don't hold back. I don't want any sugar coated or watered down truth. I don't intend on holding back either.
So tell me what you really think. Tell me what's going on in that head. No fake shit (oops, not suppose to curse). What ever you want to say
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061030
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Christ without the cross
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Social situations are uncomfortable for me. One of the reasons why this is so is because i am very shy. So instead of a casual conversation when i meet people it usually because a talk show, in which i ask a whole lot of questions as if i am trying to soak up information.
Another reason is that i am very blunt and honest and in a social situation, brute honesty is not the best policy especially when just meeting people. People usually send out there representitive. i like to present myself.
Communication for me is like a tedious task. i would much rather blurt out exactly what i am thinking which i am known to do among friends but to afraid to do around people i have just met. So in a result to keep a reign on my tongue my conversation are very tense for a while So it takes me very long most times to get comfortable(well sometimes i just click with people). But when i am, i am a totally different person.
I hate awkward silences. They make me feel anxious. And i hate generic conversation, unless it is natural. i hate the feeling of fake smiles on my face and forced laughter. i want to be more honest but the thought of it frightening people frightens me. No one is completely honest but i have this crazy urge to be, all the time. Would they hate me if they really knew what i thought? Maybe.
What are social situations like for you? Is your experience similar?
Oh and no, I don't have a blather nickname. Tell me what you come up with.
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061030
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Chris aka
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i am excited and anxious to hear from you.
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061101
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