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flowerock.
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I've been flooded with emotion lately. I see heart_wrenching news and I cry, I see beautiful news and I cry. I think of the good things in my life and I become overwhelmed with love and I cry. I wonder about the things I might regret later and I cry for my future self and who ever it effects. I think of things past in my life and feel the joy and pain and I cry frantically pushing it back but never looking away, undecided.
I look at my body and feel good about it, then I don't.
I look at my dog and feel such love, then such heart ache for the way domestic animals are at our mercy and often stuck inside alone, it's not fair but I'm stuck elsewhere.
The worst part of it all is really the way it comes out. I feel so intensely and I feel this intensity when I'm alone or dreaming. In the presence of other people, even my partner, I feel just frustrated and irritable and it all turns flat and I emote none of it.
Why am I so closed? Why is it so difficult to express anything to anyone? Especially to someone I'm so excited about?
This too makes me cry, when I'm alone. I want to be a giant so my head can be alone away from everyone and I can just clean it all up from above like a mortal goddess just cleaning house for everyone, let me love from afar, but I do want love too.
I feel strange. I feel alot of anxiety and stress lately even with do much to be happy for.
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