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a clever disguise
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I would literally love to rip this piece of me out. I hate feeling hurt or any feeling really at all anymore. Even good emotions feel like pain sometimes.
My abusive ex's new ex girlfriend contacted me for support and I met her for drinks. It brought up a lot of shit and I learned new, terribly embarrasing things, like how beyond just being abusive he was also habitually cheating the whole time I was pregnant (and up until I finally gave him the boot when my daughter was about a year and a half). This was years ago and something I had already told myself but never actually "knew," so it's like the pain is new.
So on the last night I see my love before he goes out of town for a while, instead of enjoying his company, I am sulking over past pain.
Like a dumb, emotional_woman.
I hit it off well with this girl and she wants to go out again sometime, but I don't know if I should because it just opens the wound. My life is pretty happy these days; I don't make those old mistakes and I've done well for myself. I don't want to let the pain of the past haunt me.
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