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Soma
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When I grew up
left home
Drive away and didn't look back.
I was so happy to be gone. I barely spoke to my mother for five years. But we weren't really close when I grew up. She had her own issues, and I had mine. And she didn't know how to handle them both. So she only ever took care of herself.
When I got older
Struggled alone
I realized how alone she had probably been too. It struck me, that even though I felt it was shitty, she was doing her best. And she had problems.
Now I talk to my mom every week. I relish the time we have together. I appreciate getting to know her in a way I never knew her as a child. She recognizes I am an adult, and stepped away from the overbearing woman who raised me.
But it's weird, because I feel like I help her more than she helps me. It's like I learned how to drive a car, but the person who had been telling me "THIS IS HOW YOU DRIVE IT" was wrong all along, and now I'm the one teaching them.
mixed_feelings
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181025
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